Tim Dowling: I’ve outwitted the cat, the tortoise and the coffee maker

‘Honestly,’ I say to the cat. ‘Does absolutely everything have to be about you?’

I wake up in the morning with the cat standing on my chest, miaowing in my face. “It’s six,” I say. It’s actually 7, but the cat can’t tell time.

“Miaow,” it says.

Related: Tim Dowling: I have discovered a gift for astrology

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Source: theguardian
Tim Dowling: I’ve outwitted the cat, the tortoise and the coffee maker